Hush. . .

Posted: October 31, 2012 by chocolatesandmedicines in Uncategorized

I was in college when I read the following quotes:

 

Don’t mix between my personality and attitude, because my personality is ME and my attitude depends on YOU.

..

Don’t ever change yourself to adjust to people who don’t like you. For personality is not a theorem to be proven but a postulate to be accepted.

 

I was once a shadow of someone. I did everything to prove them that I am deserving to be theirs. My pride was so low that I had to swallow every bit of it, just to be loved. I was once her friend.. I was once  the one who stayed through “thick and thin”.

I didn’t manage to ask anything from her. I just stayed there to support her when her REAL FRIENDS are not there to watch her back. She was the sweetheart and the loveliest. Kind and understanding, I kept her and treated her as my sister.

 

But there is nothing that is constant in this world. Everything undergoes changes.. everyone experiences changes. Damn changes and screw me for trusting a “changed” person.

 

Dearest friend, why don’t we inform everyone of what you did? ‘Cause you know, a BETRAYAL of the dearest friend is the most flavorful scenario on Earth. Why don’t we tell ’em what you said about your “Friends”? Why can’t we just reveal you TRUE COLOR?

I am so disappointed to you and for myself. How did I ever do that?? To trust you? Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. I don’t know why I haven’t learned from you.. from your stories about our FRIENDS and their dirty little secrets? Oh! Should I tell them what you said too?

 

Filthy Liar,  Filthy LIAR. Hush for you don’t know how bad WE can be. Forgive US because we will NEVER SAY SORRY. You don’t deserve this. You actually deserve worst than this. You think WE have no senses to detect how smelly you are, biatch? BE READY. YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR ENEMY.

 

 

So, HUSH my dear BACKSTABBER. One more fucking statement from you, and YOU WILL HEAR FROM US.

Love, YOUR FRIENDS.

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Bullying

Posted: October 15, 2012 by chocolatesandmedicines in Uncategorized

So, tonight, I heard the story of Amanda Todd, a victim of bullying that led her to commit suicide.

 

Back then, I used to think that bullying is really cool.

The feeling is great, you feel big enough to step on to other kids who had no courage to defend themselves. You feel powerful and it’s like looking down on those people who have nothing but that awful face that cries every night. There was a winner inside you that the kid you used to make fun of is so affected and lonely and alone.. Bullying is cool.

But the story doesn’t end there. I guess, karma’s a bitch if you are. She said that revenge is best served cold.. you’ll realize at the end that she’s the one watching the whole scene, a voyeur at your suffering and laughing while you’re bleeding.

 

Karma and I had a match and she won.

I was wrong and I admit that. I was once the kid that made other kids run to their moms.. now, I am the lady who had no one to run to. Crying at night and thinking what made me deserve this treatment. No one likes me, and no one cared to give a hug. I am lucky enough that I have the best person in the world, my bestfriend (C) who never turned her back to me and never left. I am at least happy, that I can handle the pain..

I realized, bullying is not cool at all..

 

No matter how strong a person is, there is always that pain that he tries to fight and defeat. We are all in the same game, dealing with different devils and unfortunately, others aren’t making it.

So be a friend to someone right now. Others can’t really tell their story and rather keep it to their chests and deal with tears. That is normal.. all we can do is listen if they feel free to open up or just be there, and make them feel that they are not struggling alone.

 

Say NO to bullying and you’ll see, you’re making someone happy and the best part,  you’re saving a life. 🙂

Posted: September 28, 2012 by chocolatesandmedicines in Uncategorized

Old Friend

Posted: September 23, 2012 by chocolatesandmedicines in Uncategorized

So.. this post is actually written by a friend. A close-friend, a sister, actually. This is all about her hatred towards the over-thinking-emotional-b*tch.

 

Dear KIDDO, 

So long since I loved you. So long since I cared.. I was always there, waiting for you to talk to me and share, but your actions did very well, they talked to me and showed the real YOU. You were so drunk at the morning of August, an event which made us closer and at the same time, made me hate you, a little. At that moment while you were helping the quiet boy in class, I was shouting at the back of my lobes “Who turned you into this?”…

A burning afternoon in October, you really messed up with me. I was trying to look, but I really can’t figure out why did you do such thing. So I decided to distance myself, to not talk to you everyday, just like what we had at June. It was hard to admit that i missed that.. not until that “naughty” night of November.

Drinks were on the floor and the quiet boy in class that you once flirted told me I was so white. He gave me a guitar, I tried to pluck though my head is spinning, and it was out of tune. I was there, trying to make everyone talk to me, because I missed them. The only person who I can’t talk to is YOU. I can’t bare to look any longer at you, touching the tall guy’s hair, kissing him in the middle of dawn and he, trying to reach your treasures. 

Everything that happened to you was told by everyone AROUND YOU. Stop blaming me, stop blaming everybody. Instead, you should START BLAMING YOURSELF for all of this crap going on is all your fault. You used to be sweetest girl ever, now, you’re the attention-seeker-wh*re. Sorry,  deserve that title. 

Whatever is your past, I don’t care. What I see is you, blaming other people and not dealing with the consequences of the past pictures you captured. I pity you.. SO MUCH.

 

’till next time, unless you SHUT UP,

OLD FRIEND

Ta*ga

Posted: September 8, 2012 by chocolatesandmedicines in Pinoy blogs

Gaano kasarap maging tanga?

 

TANGA. Ayan ‘yung kitang-kita mo na pero ayaw mo pang tingnan. ‘Yung nandyan pero ayaw mong pansinin. ‘Yung nakahain na at kakainin mo na lang pero hindi ka pa tumayo para kumuha ng pinggan.

 

Nagmahal ka ng taong mahal ka rin naman. Pero hindi naman lahat ng relasyon, sweet all the way. ‘Yung iba, pumapait o tumatabang na sa huli. Nagkataon na kasama ka sa mga taong handang ibigay ang lahat, pero sadyang hindi niya na ma-appreciate. Sinurprise mo siya nung birthday niya, ibinili mo siya ng mamahaling gamit, halos talikuran mo mga kaibigan mo, ibinigay mo pati katawan mo.. ibinigay mo LAHAT, pero wala pa ring effect sa kanya.

Dyan nagsisimula ang sakit. ‘Yung pakiramdam mo, pinupunit ng dahan-dahan ang dibdib mo bago matulog sa gabi.

Dyan mo rin iisipin. . . Sino ba ang tanga sa inyo?

 

SIYA ba? Hindi niya kasi nakita kung gano mo siya kamahal. Hindi siya nakuntento sa lahat ng binigay mo. Hindi niya napapansin na siya ang sumisira sa’yo.

O IKAW? Kasi ayaw mo siyang pakawalan? ‘Yung naisip mo na mas magandang nandyan siya kahit ikaw lang ang nag-mamahal.. Na okay lang tawaging tanga, kasi sa kanya ka masaya kahit alam mong, nakikihati ka sa iba.

SAKIT diba? Tapos magrereklamo ka..

 

Eto kasi ‘yan. Ang daming naghihintay para sa’yo. Pamilya mo, unang-una. Susundan ng mga kaibigan mo at nung susunod na magmamahal sa’yo. Hindi naman nauubos ang tao sa mundo ng isang tulugan lang eh. Makakahanap ka at mahahanap ka kahit anong pagtatago ang gawin mo. Simple lang, dahil ‘yun talaga ang kalakaran dito. Remember, hindi mo makikita’yung tama hangga’t hindi mo nalalaman ‘yung mali. Pero ‘yung mali at sakit, ulit-ulit mong mararamdaman ‘yan hangga’t hindi ka natututo..

Okay lang maging tanga minsan pero wag mo namang tambayan. Wag mong kalimutan na you shouldn’t settle lang for what’s available. You should wait and settle for what’s best for you.

10 Unreasonable Reasons

Posted: August 28, 2012 by chocolatesandmedicines in Uncategorized
Tags:

 

Here’s to the girl who is a complete-hopeless-romantic. I wish you happiness, SOON.

 

It was a damp Thursday afternoon when I first tried to talk to someone like him. Of all the boys that gave me wrong impressions about love, sex, kisses and relationships, this man never gave a trace of doubt to me.

I tried to pick every reason why I like him so much. Every reason why I have sleepless nights and hundreds of butterflies in my stomach. Here we go:

 

10. The way he sends me a text message. It is unusual to me as I am not a phone-person, but I read every bit of conversation late at night when I’m still up. Every word said delivers a weird feeling.

9. The harmony of his voice that echoes in my head. The words he utter.. the sound of his breath.

8. His stories and secrets. His past and present. His favorites, and the fact that he hates ketchup and mayonnaise. His merits and demerits.

7. The way he eats his spaghetti and drinks his coke. The way he kissed me. His tongue invading mine.

6. When he drives his car together with me. I feel special, I feel his.

5. When he’s facing the mirror and his smile. His eyes staring at me when we talk.

4. His arms that embrace me, his skin brushing on mine. His’ body scent, so aromatic and love-potion-like. I can stay with him forever.

3. The day he thought me how thin and fine, the line between pleasure and pain is.

2. The bridge of his nose, the way he shuts down his eyes to sleep. I couldn’t sleep with him much longer because the  pleasure of watching him sleep is irresistible.

1. The way he lacks time to rest but found a time to be with me. His devotion to work and family. The undeniable fact that I can’t find any reason to lose him, ’cause he wouldn’t give one.

 

I can’t tell it all, but I tried to sum it up. I am aware of his busy lifestyle that I can’t act as his priority, but I can’t help it, I want him. No matter how time flies that I can’t have him with me, I will stay and wait, until he no longer wants me.

I don’t know if I am dumb enough or just kind to understand that we have no commitment and label but I know that I love him and I can’t find any reason to leave.

Maybe I love him so much. Maybe.

Para sa IYO

Posted: August 26, 2012 by chocolatesandmedicines in Pinoy blogs
Tags: , , ,

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Ang tulang ito ay dulot ng matinding sama ng loob. Paumanhin po sa mga salitang hindi niyo magugustuhan. Pwede po kayong huminto sa pag-basa, anytime. 🙂

 

Ganda, ganda, mga lalaki sayo’y nga-nga

Tuwing dadaan ka, halos malaglag panga nila

Ganda, ganda, tunay ngang pinagpala ka

Maswerte ka at maganda ka.

 

Ganda, ganda, ang dami mong kaibigan

Kahit kailan, kahit sino’y hindi ka magagawang ilagan

Ganda, ganda, lahat sila’y napapa-ibig mo na

Pagkat total package ka, sabi nila.

 

Ganda, ganda, naubos na lahat ng make-up mo,

Ang ganda mo pa rin, sabi ko

Pero ganda, isang araw, lumabas ang baho mo

Kahit anong air freshener, hindi tatalab sayo.

 

Maganda, maganda nga ang mukha mo

Kahit sino, hindi hihindi sa napatunayan ko

Pero ganda, meron kang nakaligtaan

Make-up-an ang sarili mong kalooban.

 

Ganda, lahat ng tiwala ko, inubos mo

Isinusumpa kita hanggang panaginip ko

Ganda, bakit puro baho ng iba ang nakikita mo?

Pinagkatiwalaan ka ng lihim, hindi mo naitago.

 

Ganyan ka pala, ganda, nakaka-disappoint ng todo

Nagtiwala ang marami sa’yo, pero sintunado pala ang awit mo

Ganda, ayaw kong magtanim ng galit

Pero nakita ko, isa ka rin sa mga PANGIT.

 

Ganda ng mukha mo’y wala nang bisa

Sapagkat ugali mo, sa mukha mo’y hindi nakisama

Naisip ko, lahat ng baho mo, ilabas ko na lang rin kaya?

Makabawi mang lang ako sa sakit na iyong pinadama.

 

Pero pangit, hindi ako ‘sing ipokrita mo

Hindi ko kailangang itago ang mga pasang dulot ng nakaraan ko

Babae, good luck na lang sa’yo,

Dumating na sana ang araw na ipanganak ang katapat mo.